Meet the Uzumakis!
by Uumak
Summary: Meet the Uzumaki triplets: Older brother Kyuubi, middle sister Naruko, and baby brother Naruto. How can Sasuke woo poor Naruto, when his siblings are ready to kill the Uchiha to protect Naru-chan's innocent virginity? SASUNARU AU
1. Uchiha Sasuke's Problems

**Disclaimer: **Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Rating:** T, but it could go higher eventually?

**A/N:** I know. I should finish my other story. But I'm running low on ideas and I've had this one in my head for the longest time. Forgive me everyone that liked **Underground**, I'm doing another story. –keysmash- I'll try my best to update Underground as much as I can, but I'm seriously low on ideas to move the current plot for that story forward (I have a crapload of ideas for the future of it, but how to make it progress, I have none).

But yeah, this one's a bit more light-hearted than Underground and not too deep. It's another AU version, set in a modern-day era. I-I hope you like it you guys! This is only the prologue so please review it so I know if this story is cool or not!

**Summary: **_Meet the Uzumaki triplets: Older brother Kyuubi, middle sister Naruko, and baby brother Naruto. How can Sasuke woo poor Naruto, when his siblings are ready to kill the Uchiha to protect Naru-chan's innocent virginity? SASUNARU AU_

Meet the Uzumakis!

Chapter One: Uchiha Sasuke's Problem(s)

For Uchiha Sasuke, it was indeed a fact that siblings were the worst obstacles on the planet. He had his share of problems with his own older brother, Itachi. From the embarrassing baby photos, to the noogies, wedgies, and punches that came on birthday mornings—Sasuke experienced it all.

He loved his brother (kind of) and he respected the older's genius and talent (sort of), but Sasuke always found himself wishing that he could nail a miniature voodoo-Itachi to the wall when it came to certain topics. One taboo topic was sex and the works. Oh how Sasuke remembered those pictures—those positions. How the _hell_ did his brother manage to find such high quality pictures of such…_ flexibility…_? *Gewgle wouldn't give such results, nor would *Yapoo. Sasuke didn't want to know and he hoped that he would never know.

One other taboo topic was on one of their neighbors: Sasuke's long time crush/wet dream porn star. The first time Sasuke had met his neighbor was when they were in grade school, 3rd grade to be specific. He was a growing boy at that time (8 years old was a very grown-up age for an Uchiha) and he seriously thought the other was a girl. It wasn't little Sasuke's fault that he thought that way either! The kid looked like God had dipped him in a vat reserved for only the most prettiest people in the world. The shorts and the tank top did confuse Sasuke for a minute, but to an Uchiha: he was always right. And so Uzumaki Naruto became a girl in the young Uchiha's eyes. Till Itachi butted his cocky ass into the situation.

It towards the end of the 3rd grade when Itachi started to pick up the young Uchiha from school. Usually it would have been Kisame, Itachi's friend. But due to certain circumstances that Itachi never spoke of, the scary Kisame was forced to resign his duties of 'Sasuke's ride.' In the end, and unable to find a worthy replacement, Itachi began to haul himself over to the Happy-Nin Grade School to pick up his precious brother. On the first day, Sasuke had passed by his 'girl' and gave the other a hard glare. Itachi soon parked next to the younger and Sasuke entered the car giving the young blonde another piercing glare and to everyone near 'her.'

"Why were you glaring at that other kid, Sasuke?" Itachi had asked.

"I was tryna tell her and those other punks that she's my woman." Sasuke had proudly boasted.

"So you glared at her?" Itachi snorted.

"No, I gave her one of those suh-suh.. suh-deck-tive looks." Came the reply.

On the third week and the last week of school, Itachi finally had enough. How did his brother get to be so… _stupid?_ Glaring at his crush and giving her 'suh-deck-tive' looks was not a sign of liking someone. Nor was biting the other's hand. Or punching their butt. Itachi was tired of being called up to the office for his brother's misdemeanors and he was certainly tired of his brother's proud speeches that 'the baby Uchiha had a woman now, so he can take a bath by himself/he didn't need vegetables/or that he could stay up past his bed time.' It was cute at first—a bit odd—but it was cute nonetheless. However, after the 11th call from the teacher, Itachi had enough. There was a line between cute and dangerous, and Sasuke had way passed that line into 'scary-and-obsessed-dangerous.'

So on that day, Itachi excused himself from school early and drove down to Happy-Nin. He parked in the parking lot and walked over to his brother's usual waiting spot. As he was walking, the bell rang and a steady stream of screaming elementary kids poured into the lot, including his little brother and his 'woman.'

Sasuke, even after spotting his brother, walked closely near his blonde 'woman', which further ticked the eldest Uchiha. How dare his brother ignore his 'come here' hand call! Upon closer inspection, Itachi found himself slightly ogling at the blonde child that Sasuke was following behind. The kid was extremely cute and would only grow in a more positive way later on.

(Itachi stopped himself from going beyond that point of ogling, however. That was being a dirty pedo—and Itachi was a class-A citizen.)

As soon as the blonde neared Itachi, he saw something was a little off. Sasuke had described the blonde has 'the most girliest thing on the planet' and that the blonde was a true example of the womanly species. But underneath those big blue eyes and cute fluffy blonde hair, Itachi's mind could only scream," IT'S A TRAP!" When the blonde stopped near him, the older bent down and gave a handsome smile to the child. The young kid looked around in shock, wondering if Itachi was looking at someone else (Sasuke, meanwhile, realized that this was where Itachi was seeing if his crush was good enough for the precious baby Uchiha).

Itachi held out a large hand to the blonde and smiled cooing," Hello, I'm Itachi."

The blonde had stuttered out," U-uhm, I'm Nar-naruto. B-but I'm not supposta talk to strangers, mister."

Itachi grinned wider and kept his hand out. "Oh I'm not a stranger. I'm Sasuke's older brother, here to apologize for all the mean things he did to you." Naruto lit up a little and Sasuke darkened extremely.

The young blond shook the older's hand and replied," Oh, okay then Mr. Uchiha."

They released hands and Itachi gave a bigger smile. He knew his kid brother was watching his every move, listening to their every exchanged word. Itachi was only sorry that he had to reveal such a crucial fact to Sasuke.

"Can I ask you one question, Naruto-kun?" The blonde nodded.

"Are you a girl?"

There came an angry shriek from the little blonde's mouth as the **he** screamed," No way! I'ma boy!" Naruto grabbed the top of his shorts, pulled it, and pointed down into his pants that 'he had one of those peepees like all boys did.' Itachi laughed and patted the **boy's** head, while looking at Sasuke's face.

No words could compare to the joy Itachi felt when he saw that expression from the young Sasuke.

That day, Sasuke crawled into bed and stayed there. The shock that Sasuke's woman was not quite a woman, Itachi thought, may have been too much. But the next morning, when Itachi ate his breakfast, Sasuke walked into the kitchen with a smirk on his face.

Itachi cocked a brow up and asked," Why are you so happy, Sasuke? I thought you were in shock that little Naruto-_kun_ was a boy, and not a girl."

Sasuke replied with a cocky smirk," That's okay. It doesn't matter if he's a boy, he's still mine."

Itachi spat out his coffee and was stunned the rest of the day. Damn those dominant-Uchiha genes of possession!

Now, presently, that wasn't the problem. Sasuke was all fine and dandy with Naruto being whatever gender he chose (it would be weird if the boy came in one day as a transvestite, but Sasuke thought that Naruto would make a fine specimen) and he was extremely fine that in the 6th grade, Naruto had moved to the house next his the Uchiha home. The real problem was _Naruto's siblings._

In 3rd grade, Sasuke didn't know that the young blonde had siblings. To be specific: 2 older siblings. To Sasuke's shock, not only were those 2 Naruto's siblings—they were part of the Uzumaki triplets, which included Naruto.

Sasuke would've been happy—he should have been happy! There were 2 more Naruto-look-alikes that he could secretly ogle at! But the problem came when Naruto finally introduced Sasuke to them.

That day, Sasuke found himself at the hospital with a broken arm, his face nearly scratched off, and his sanity nearly halved. Naruto was sitting next to the boy in near-tears crying that 'he thought Sasuke would die' and that 'he never should have brought him to meet his brother and sister.' Sasuke didn't understand what Naruto meant. Did he hurt their feelings or something? All he had said to the 2 other Uzumakis was," It's nice to meet you. If it's alright, I'd like permission in advance to woo your younger sibling." Where had he gone wrong?

So, after intensive research on the Uzumaki triplets, Sasuke soon after found why: the 2 siblings were extremely protective of their young brother. It wouldn't have been a threat on Sasuke's part, had it not been for the crucial fact that the eldest brother, Uzumaki Kyuubi, was part of a well-known and dangerous gang and that the middle sister, Uzumaki Naruko, had an extreme mother-hen complexity that rivaled a mother alligator (and those things were _scary_). Sasuke added it all up that they could wipe out half of the population in Konoha if they wanted to.

These two supernatural siblings were the source of Sasuke's main problems. He was a proper Uchiha and he would ask the family's permission to date Naruto. Unfortunately, Naruto's family would have nothing of it and would _kill_ him for it.

For nearly 5 and a half years, Sasuke struggled with the problem of how to get Naruto's siblings to approve. Even a _little_ recognition was better than Kyuubi's foot to Sasuke's face or Naruko's sharp nails on Sasuke's…face. Any approval from the deadly duo was better than nothing! It meant a step closer to Sasuke's ultimate goal: dating Uzumaki Naruto, then marriage, and then confining the little blonde to the bed forever more.

But the problem was how…!

**A/N:** So… how is it so far ouo? Uuu, I hope this kind of plot hasn't been used before! –sigh-

But yeah. did you see those starred terms? Yeah, it's GOOGLE and YAHOO! TROLOLOL.

…Yeah. I hope you enjoyed, dear readers! Please review! I write more with review-power, keke.


	2. Meet Uzumaki Kyuubi

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto does.

**Rating:** PG for swearing and implied naughty-times.

**A/N:** Hi.. sorry for not updating so much. I got busy and I couldn't think of stuff to write, huhu. By the way, sorry in advance. It's still kinda short –sigh- But hopefully… you'll still enjoy? Huuuuuu…

* * *

><p>Meet the Uzumakis!<p>

Chapter Two: Meet Uzumaki Kyuubi

-Present Day, Konoha-

* * *

><p>His mornings always began the same: smash the snooze on the alarm clock, wake up in a fine and prestigious manner, shower (almost always he found himself taking cold showers, for… reasons), dress, and then eat. It was a rigid schedule that began at 5:30 AM every morning, everyday. There was no room for any changes because, well, Uchihas didn't cope well with drastic changes in their everyday habits. Sasuke, being the last <em>sane<em> Uchiha in the house, kept well to this.

Hopping into the cold shower, Sasuke scrubbed himself viciously, ensuring a clean body. He stepped out, dried, and dressed, occasionally allowing himself to look into the mirror to tell himself," Uchiha Sasuke, you are one fine creation of God."

As he snapped his tie under his tan blazer, he gave himself one more look-over before heading downstairs. Upon arriving at the kitchen he spotted his older brother, Itachi, sipping the usual bitter black coffee that Uchihas always drank (Sasuke would argue that drinking such bitter coffee was where all the Uchihas got their bad-ass cockiness from). The eldest looked up from the numerous papers that were piled on his side of the table. With studying eyes, Itachi watched his brother pull out a cup and pour himself coffee.

"Outoto."

Sasuke looked up and nodded back at his brother. He sat down to a plate of eggs, toast, and sliced tomatoes and ate in silence.

Itachi watched with mild interest at his brother's quiet attitude this morning. The older turned to the stack of papers on his right and skimmed through it, humming to himself. Occasionally, he caught his little's brother gaze and smirked. The other would roll his eyes and Itachi knew what his brother was thinking.

'_Crazy son of a…'_

Finally, Itachi pulled from the stack a crisp paper and skimmed through it, signing it quickly. It was always work now for the 29 year-old. Itachi leaned against an open palm and looked at his brother who was gnawed the toast with slow chews. Mentally, Itachi sighed: his brother was so lucky. What he would give to live a fun and exciting life again. Instead, there Uchiha Itachi sat. Signing papers that fat men in tight suits would giggle in happiness over.

Itachi glanced up as he heard a loud and shameless yawn emit from his brother. "Cover your mouth, Outoto."

Sasuke glared at his brother and rolled his eyes. He countered: "Sorry mother."

Itachi glowered at the other but put up no fight. He had papers to sign, not asses to wipe.

He heard the younger scoot his chair out and begin walking to the sink. There was a series of clinks and shuffling when Sasuke muttered his farewell. Itachi stood up and stretched, walking towards the front where his younger brother was slipping his shoes on.

Itachi crossed his arms and smirked at Sasuke. "Have a good day, Outoto."

Sasuke turned around and gave another glare to his brother. He responded dryly," Whatever. I'm going." He slid out the door, shutting it firmly. Itachi hmm-ed and put a finger on his chin, chuckling aloud," I wonder if it was a bad idea not to tell him."

He paused with his eyes closed then shrugged. As long as he didn't kill Itachi's younger brother, then everything was fine. Besides, Sasuke would eventually pay for that 'mother' comment. Itachi nodded, a smirk adorning his handsome face.

-MtUs!-

Sasuke pocketed his hands deep into his jacket. His brother was just weird. Ever since he took over the company, the younger felt that Itachi was going slowly insane—must have been the paperwork. Sasuke breathed in the cold morning air. He glanced to his left and slowed his pace, wondering if the other was up already.

Sasuke stared at the window on the 2nd floor of the brick house. It was the Uzumaki house where the triplets stayed. Usually, the 3 blondes were by themselves because their father was on business trips and their mother was out caravanning the world. Sasuke shook his head a little. To think the great politician's, Namikaze Minato, DNA had created such crazy children. It must have been their mother's DNA that came up with the personalities. After all, Uzumaki Kushina was one of the world most renowned artists of her gender and time: she had to be a little crazy to get to such a level.

Suddenly there was a muffled shout that pushed Sasuke out of his thoughts. He glanced at the house and chuckled: he finally must have woken up. The young Uchiha continued his way, counting the seconds that passed by. He was nearing the end of the block and was about to turn when there came loud footsteps storming behind him, along with a piercing shout.

"Saaaaaaaaaaasssukeeeeeeeee!"

The dark-haired took a step to the left and watched a blur of blond and tan tumble to the ground. The blur grabbed his blond head and rubbed it, turning to Sasuke with fiery blue eyes.

"You teme! You were supposed to wake me up, remember?"

Sasuke extended a hand and pulled the smaller boy up, replying," You need to start waking up by yourself, Naruto."

The blonde squinted at the raven head and sniffed angrily," S'not my fault that…"

"That you stayed up all night playing video games," finished the Uchiha. He started to walk again and Naruto shouted back.

"Not even! It isn't a _game_, Sasuke! *Dogemon is like living another life!" Naruto held a fist to his face proudly and continued," In Dogemon, I even have my own pet!"

Sasuke sighed," I shouldn't have bought you that for your birthday last week."

The other skipped up next to Sasuke and grinned widely replying," Aww, but you did 'suke-chan~ 'sides, shouldn't you be happy that I'm using your gift?"

Sasuke sighed again," I am glad, but playing it on a school night?"

"But I was so close to beating the *Veridan gym leader! I couldn't just _stop_!"

Sasuke looked at the other with bewilderment. "You got that far into the game? Already?"

Naruto nodded and put his hands behind his head," Yeap. I stayed up this _whooole_ weekend training my Dogemon. My *Charflander evolved all the way to a *Charzlastor too!"

The raven-haired shook his head and put a hand to his forehead," I really shouldn't have bought you that game last week."

Naruto snickered and hit Sasuke lightly on the shoulder. The Uchiha glared at the Uzumaki but made no moves against the other. Instead the two walked side by side together towards Fire Union High.

As they neared, Naruto chirped," Ya know, teme, my bro was talking about you last night."

Sasuke gave the little blonde a look and Naruto replied in defense," No really! At dinner he was all, 'I'mma kick the shit outta that Uchiha-brat.' He looked really pumped."

The dark-haired frowned," Why was he saying that?"

Naruto shrugged but replied," He didn't wake me up this morning, so I couldn't find out."

The Uchiha turned and kept his gaze forward. Knowing the eldest Uzumaki, Sasuke would probably get jumped somewhere. But why would Kyuubi jump him?

The guy was a prideful brat who would only pick a fight if justice was needed or the other guy was powerful. Sasuke knew that Kyuubi had his eye on Itachi in terms of power, but why would the gang leader want to beat him at this moment? Those other times, Kyuubi _kinda _had a reason to beat Sasuke (for molesting the youngest Uzumaki), but what was the reason today?

Naruto glanced at his stoic friend and nearly saw the gears in the Uchiha's brain spinning. The blond broke the silence and twittered," He did mention something about the pool."

Sasuke blinked then slapped his forehead mentally. '_My desire got the best of me. And Kyuubi must have seen.'_

The blonde kept muttering about other reasons why his brother was after blood, when Sasuke interrupted: "It's because I kept touching you at the pool on Saturday."

The youngest Uzumaki snapped his head in Sasuke's direction, his face red. "He—you—he saw," stuttered Naruto.

"Yes, he probably did. Probably the reason why he's going to jump me at school," Sasuke replied smoothly.

Naruto turned a darker shade of red and then punched the taller. "I told you to stop! Teme! He's going to tear you to bits!"

Sasuke turned to Naruto with a smirk and bent low, whispering in the other's ear," Did you say stop? All I heard coming from your mouth was 'Sasuke, more. Do it mooreee…'"

The blond flung himself back and hissed," Teme! S-shut up! I may have said that stuff… b-but.."

"But what, Naru-chan?"

"C-cuz you're m-mouth felt really good okay!"

The taller smirked wider and took a fistful of the blonde hair. He pulled Naruto gently towards himself and whistling," Wanna go again? My mouth is burning hot this fine…" Naruto gulped. "Cold morning…"

Sasuke chuckled at the beet red blonde and let go of the soft spikes. Naruto stood stiffly as Sasuke walked calmly away from the other. He gripped his backpack straps and shuffled behind the Uchiha stiffly. Without any notice, the blonde skipped a bit and kicked the back of the Uchiha's knees. Sasuke nearly collapsed (he's an Uchiha. Uchiha's don't _fall_) but quickly grabbed the street sign next to him. The dark-haired glared at his friend as the other ran down the street laughing.

Sasuke raced after the blonde and finally they came to the front of the school. They slowed as they neared the gate but noticed that the school yard was nearly deserted. He sighed and threw his bag at the Naruto who caught the bag with a yelp. Naruto asked," You're really gunna fight my bro right now?"

Sasuke rolled his sleeves up and replied dully," Yeah, may as well."

Naruto sighed and replied," Don't over-do it like that one time."

"It was raining that day and I slipped."

The raven-haired turned around and smirked. "By the way, what's the prize today?"

The smaller looked bewildered. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me, Usuratonkachi. Today, I'd like a prize if I survive."

Naruto flustered about and replied," No prize dammit! Just finish quickly and get to class!" The blonde stormed off, going around to the back of the school as Sasuke walked through the front gate.

"Yo, Uchiha-brat."

Sasuke glanced to the right and saw the eldest Uzumaki leaning easily against the cement gate.

Unlike his younger brother and sister, Kyuubi's hair had a slightly orange tinge to it and spiked out more violently than Naruto's. While Naruto had blue eyes and Naruko had purple, Kyuubi had piercing maroon eyes that flashed red when he was pissed. To Sasuke, Kyuubi reminded him of some sort of wild beast, waiting to lash out. To even add to that image, his whisker-like birth scars were much thicker and darker compared to Naruto's thin ones.

Out of the Uzumaki triplets, Kyuubi was the most dangerous. He and his gang, Jinchuuriki, practically ruled half of Konoha. They weren't really a 'gang' though. They rarely did things like beat people up or rob a bank or steal from old ladies. Sasuke concluded that the Jinchuuriki gang was like that because of Kyuubi's ideals and had respected the other blonde's choices. But if only he would allow Sasuke to date Naruto…!

"You finally showed yer ass around here. I was worried that Itachi whisked your pansy ass to some safe house in Oto."

Sasuke's gaze lowered. "What do you mean?"

Kyuubi paused before cackling evilly," I see. Itachi didn't tell ya." He stood up and walked up to the other, towering over Sasuke by 4 inches.

He looked down on the Uchiha and smirked," I dropped by this morning to kick yer ass while your were asleep, but Itachi got in the way." Kyuubi took a step back and grinned, showing off his fangs.

"Told me to wait till school to mop yer ass over. So here I am—'bout to fuck you up, brat."

"If you just let me date Naruto, I'd take it slow on him…"

Kyuubi roared, flipping off the Uchiha with a tan finger. "You mothafucker! What do you mean _slow_? You were _**sucking off my baby brother's dick**_! _**At a pool**_!"

"He was asking for it," was Sasuke's smooth reply.

The gang leader threw his hands up and got into fighting stance," Okay, Uchiha-brat. What do you want: a face fulla fist? Or an ass fulla foot?"

Sasuke bent into fighting position and replied," Isn't that my line, Kyuubi?"

Kyuubi growled and shouted," Let's go, brat! I'm tired of hearing yer annoying voice!" In a flash, Kyuubi launched himself at Sasuke, killing-intent activated.

**A/N:** Whew. That was a bit hard to write, haha. But look! I finished and so did you! So whaddya say to a little review, hmm? You can say stuff like," you sux blls, el-oh-el" or "wtf was up wif dat ending". But c'mooooooonn~~~ Review for mee~~

By the way… Did you guys get those starred terms? Haah, you probably did! It was easy!

*Dogemon = Pokemon

*Veridan = Veridian Gym

*Charflander = Charmander

*Charzlastor = Charizard

LOLOL. I'M A **GENIUS**, HUH? LOL –gets shot-


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